"Deep water is what I am wont to swim in." D&C 127:2 This quote keeps flowing through my mind of late. I wonder and seek the definition, meaning, reality of it's implication to my life. My own sister replied last week, "When you get done with the building it will be something else." I wonder, struggle, defining what is "Best." Days seem so short and nights run into the next day especially as I am up with my little S who will soon be six months old, and won't have anything to do with anything but my breast milk. She won't have banana, a bottle, rice cereal, nothing! So she is up hungry through the night, I love the time we spend together, cherishing the moments, knowing well they are fleeing and she will soon out grow this stage.
Deep Water. I attended the temple this morning after S was up at 4 and didn't want to go back to sleep until 5:30, I dressed quickly, and made it on the 6:00 a.m. session. Deep water. What does that mean for me? I always seem to be sliding in, just as I did on that session, just as they were moving upstairs. Always just sliding in, but do I do anything well? "Jack of all trades, but master of none" comes to mind as I struggle with so many responsibilities. Yet, I am grateful for each one, and wonder if there are some I should pass to others.? Last month one of my visiting teaching sisters said "If you think life will slow down... you're dead wrong!" I am running, and quite frankly, I have long believed I can run the marathon because I know where the finish line is! I don't know where the finish line in life is, and I want to keep the pace that My Father expects and wants me to.
We had a great Family Home Evening this week, reading for Brinley's Faith in God award D&C 88:77-80, 118. What is the mission with which I have been commissioned? Am I sufficiently prepared? How can I magnify the calling whereunto I have been called? Oh, I fear I fall so short.
This morning in the temple, I was pondering all these things, and the deep water that Emma and Joseph swam in, contemplating my life, and the projects looming currently. I was impressed that just when we think we understand or are dressed and prepared for something, then we are asked to prepare and move to the next step. Constantly into deeper water. I wonder if I could just tread water for a time, catching my breath, recovering and recouping from the last sprint before I am launching into the next... it doesn't seem. The quotes here on my wall which I have quoted here often about working beyond the point of exhaustion, about fatigue, about doing more every day than I believe possible don't fit into that. And yet, I wonder how is it that others around me sit on a beach, spend leisure time skiing, vacationing around the globe. Why do I swim in deep waters constantly while others seem on perpetual vacation? Would I trade? Seriously as I have little ones in the next room waiting for their math papers, begging for me to do reading lessons with them, waiting for their handwriting page for today. I would not trade for shallow waters. My home could be silent, all of my senior team is off to college/highschool/mission adventures! If I had stopped with my family after Sr. team I would not be enjoying the 1,3,5 feedings with little S or the reading lessons, or the hugs, or smiles on bike rides with Jr. team. I won't trade! I will keep swimming, even swimming strong! Gratefully. Even into deeper waters, trusting He will continue succoring me!
Deep Water. I attended the temple this morning after S was up at 4 and didn't want to go back to sleep until 5:30, I dressed quickly, and made it on the 6:00 a.m. session. Deep water. What does that mean for me? I always seem to be sliding in, just as I did on that session, just as they were moving upstairs. Always just sliding in, but do I do anything well? "Jack of all trades, but master of none" comes to mind as I struggle with so many responsibilities. Yet, I am grateful for each one, and wonder if there are some I should pass to others.? Last month one of my visiting teaching sisters said "If you think life will slow down... you're dead wrong!" I am running, and quite frankly, I have long believed I can run the marathon because I know where the finish line is! I don't know where the finish line in life is, and I want to keep the pace that My Father expects and wants me to.
We had a great Family Home Evening this week, reading for Brinley's Faith in God award D&C 88:77-80, 118. What is the mission with which I have been commissioned? Am I sufficiently prepared? How can I magnify the calling whereunto I have been called? Oh, I fear I fall so short.
This morning in the temple, I was pondering all these things, and the deep water that Emma and Joseph swam in, contemplating my life, and the projects looming currently. I was impressed that just when we think we understand or are dressed and prepared for something, then we are asked to prepare and move to the next step. Constantly into deeper water. I wonder if I could just tread water for a time, catching my breath, recovering and recouping from the last sprint before I am launching into the next... it doesn't seem. The quotes here on my wall which I have quoted here often about working beyond the point of exhaustion, about fatigue, about doing more every day than I believe possible don't fit into that. And yet, I wonder how is it that others around me sit on a beach, spend leisure time skiing, vacationing around the globe. Why do I swim in deep waters constantly while others seem on perpetual vacation? Would I trade? Seriously as I have little ones in the next room waiting for their math papers, begging for me to do reading lessons with them, waiting for their handwriting page for today. I would not trade for shallow waters. My home could be silent, all of my senior team is off to college/highschool/mission adventures! If I had stopped with my family after Sr. team I would not be enjoying the 1,3,5 feedings with little S or the reading lessons, or the hugs, or smiles on bike rides with Jr. team. I won't trade! I will keep swimming, even swimming strong! Gratefully. Even into deeper waters, trusting He will continue succoring me!