What is Love? What is Family?

Oh, this question.  So often in our world we hear "I Love you" but what does that mean?  In our family for the past few weeks we have a whiteboard that we have written Family = ?  What does it mean to be family? We say we Love family - how do we show that?  What does that mean we will do or not do because we Love those people?  Is there a standard for what a loving family is?  In my quest to Fortify my Family I want to define what that means to our family.  This is so a work in progress!  It has been the focal of lots of family discussions and I look forward to more as we talk about what we want our family to be and the definitions of each characteristic/word that we add.  I love that we are this to each other, and believe that when we set goals and work together with a common understanding of what we want and expect of each other that we can improve and expand even beyond what this list includes!


I am excited about an upcoming adventure to a special fort!  It will be a special weekend get away.  Planning in the works!

I love the quote by Mother Teresa:
I love that it is All and small together!  Even deeper meaning to me!  Small and ALL. Our acts don't have to be GRAND but in the end those simple little things add up to be of BIG importance!  Love this!


I love that my family has been wearing their shirts from our theme last year "What e're thou art, act well thy part!"  Apply this to family life and to our part of being a representative of our family, a team member of our family, a son or daughter of God!  Showing love to each other and to those around us. On our bike ride Saturday night both B and B had their shirts on.  We had a cute talk about that theme while we hung out shirts just the other day. I hope we never forget the fun activities we did last year in those shirts and the meaning of that theme!  Powerful!  It was amplified by being included in the talk assigned to our Sister L for her Farewell by Sister Dalton titled We are Daughters of our Heavenly Father.

As we exchange that too easily cliche "Love you." Do we mean it? Are we committed to be these things to that person?  Do we show it in word and deed loyally?  Are we willing to stand by that person in their time of need? Do we know their need and come to their aid because we care?  Isn't that love?

Quoting from "Love Takes Time" by Elder Marvin J. Ashton:
From this friend, whom I have never met, may I share again the one phrase, “‘I love you’ meant you didn’t have to do anything.” I refer to him as a friend because he has given me his helpful thoughts and I share these comments with you on this occasion hoping they might be helpful to you too.

From the father’s viewpoint can’t he be credited with feeding and keeping? Perhaps he had kept the family adequately stocked with food supplies. Also, hadn’t his son been the beneficiary of having a roof over his head, protected from the elements day and night over the years? In responding, I would point out to this mother and father and others that feeding is more than providing food. No man can effectively live by bread alone. Feeding is the providing by love adequate nourishment for the entire man, physically, mentally, morally, and spiritually. Keeping is a process of care, consideration, and kindness appropriately blended with discipline, example, and concern. Keeping is more than providing four walls and a roof. All of us need to be constantly reminded it takes a heap of living and loving to make a house a home.

How do we best show our love? How do we prove our love? Peter was effectively taught by the master teacher how he could best prove his love. “This is now the third time that Jesus shewed himself to his disciples, after that he was risen from the dead.

“So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs.

“He saith to him again the second time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my sheep.

“He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep.” (John 21:14–17.)

When were you last fed by a family member or friend? When were you last given nourishment for growth and ideas, plans, sorting of the day, sharing of fun, recreation, sorrow, anxiety, concern, and meditation? These ingredients can only be shared by someone who loves and cares. Have you ever gone to extend sympathy and comfort in moments of death and trial, only to come away fed by the faith and trust of the loving bereaved? Certainly the best way for us to show our love in keeping and feeding is by taking the time to prove it hour by hour and day by day. Our expressions of love and comfort are empty if our actions don’t match. God loves us to continue. Our neighbors and families love us if we will but follow through with sustaining support and self-sharing. True love is as eternal as life itself. Who is to say the joys of eternity are not wrapped up in continuous feeding, keeping, and caring? We need not weary in well-doing when we understand God’s purposes and his children.

Undoubtedly our Heavenly Father tires of expressions of love in words only. He has made it clear through his prophets and his word that his ways are ways of commitment, and not conversation. He prefers performance over lip service. We show our true love for him in proportion to our keeping his words and the processes of feeding.

I can't read these without looking to my life. The give and take of love. Little S oozes love! He smiles and hugs, occasionally figuring out a peese!  We give to him because we know he needs our love and kindness. To the older people it is never as easy!  They should know better. Why? I believe because if for no better reason than they have been the beneficiary of love for so many years, they need to learn how to give it as well and not just be the consumers in this world!

I love this quote by Former Young Women General President Margaret D. Nadauld: “The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity.” (This quote was recently used by Elder D. Todd Christofferson in October 2014.

I believe that several of those qualities that our world needs more of are the same qualities of a family that we have listed.... tender, refined, faith, goodness, virtuous.  What is love? What is family?  Let's not write two definitions - one that is the "ideal" and another that is "real life?"  Let's live the real Family Life!  We can!  What were those two words.... Commitment vs simply conversation of "Love you."