My assignment was food for all the meals for everyone. 275 people for three days, in multiple places outside and around town. It was a busy, miracle filled week with lots of angels coming together both on earth and heaven to make it work!!! Laus Deo!
This was lunch on Saturday at the Bloomington park. Cute kids, are exhausted after they did service all morning! Wew! We made it!!!!
I don't know what to write, or how to start this post. Today I had to ask to be released from the stake young women's. I am here crying. I have held it together for the day, but finally tonight everyone else has gone to bed so I can weep. My heart hearts. Lord, is it I? Why do I keep having these conflicts with others? I have felt constantly put down in this calling about everything that I try to do. Every time I offer an idea, or a suggestion. Everything I say in our meetings is put down and attacked. I felt strongly a month ago that I needed to be released and I visited with Brad about it. I agreed that it would be bad to ask for that just weeks before youth conference, but that I would wait until it came and then we could determine. Today was that day. It was our 6th ward conference, and stake conference just last week (wow, it seems like it was much longer ago than that.) I have had many miracles happen this week with regards to the food for youth conference. From finding deals on the items that I needed, time and again. To being impressed that I needed to reach out to certain people to ask for their help and include them. I am so grateful for the many that have stepped forward to come to help because they were asked. I am grateful for good friends in all those people!
I fasted today to confirm for myself that I should be released. I received that witness in a couple of ways, but culminating in our meeting after the block with the leaders of the 6th ward. In that meeting, they (only two members of their leadership could meet with us, but those two together) expressed frustration witIntsead h the other leaders serving, especially the secretary who was doing less than her responsibility needed, and causing stress for especially the president. In the advice given by the 1st counselor who was happy to have the responsibility of representing the President told them that if the spirit was not in their meetings, they should do whatever it took to change that so the spirit can be there. I listened to her, and almost had to laugh outloud. Sometimes in our meetings, she is so demanding and loud that I cringe, physically cringe because she is so in our face. If it is not working, fix it. As I heard her say those words, the spirit said to me, get out of this presidency because they do not even see there is a problem. I have talked to President about it, and she has just brushed it off, and said that is how she is. Yet, they continue to do just the bare minimum to get by, not seeing new ideas or needs, but say often "what is our job?" If it is not our job, then we don't need to do it. They have cancelled activities, said no to helping with Relief Society projects, and so many other things just because they don't have to do it. That is so not the service I expected of the stake young women's! I was excited to finally have a group of women who like Brad said of the High Council, are all as committed and valiant to the Gospel as he is. He talks often about his first meetings with them, and how awesome it was to hear them testify and discuss matters with committment, knowledge of the Gospel, and vigor. I wish I had ever been part of that kind of group. That is not this presidency.
I don't need to go through and list the downfalls of this group. I only need to share here that I have been struggling, crying, praying, pondering, and fasting to find answers to these concerns. I am grateful for the temple and for our committment to serve our Heavenly Father. What can I give him? My heart! I can sacrifice some sleep for him. I will give Him all I am and hope to be! I love Him!
So tonight I tried to call, but she was unavailable and so I sent a text that just said that I needed to be released and that I hope she will find a replacement for the quickly. I have been cyring about it. It not easy!
Instead of being sad, and down, I want to list here miracles I have witnessed in the past few days.
Finding a great price at Costco on pork sholder. The miracle with Chicken at a great price through Lins Grocery store - they thought they had ordered it in, but then it didn't come. They hand skinned and boned all the thighs for me! The miracles of people coming to help was endless! I am so grateful for each one! My family is champion! They always come through and help!! Thank you team!!!