A few weeks back we got to go to the Sutherland Institute Gala in Salt Lake City. Brad is on their board, so he goes up once a quarter for meetings. They always organize elegant events! Before the gala, we headed up Little Cottonwood Canyon for a hike! :) Sophia got to go for an evening with Liesl. We love to find her!
How can I "Answer Hate with Love?"
3 assignments from Arthur Brooks and the Sutherland Institute Gala this fall:
Look for, identify big problems:
Reject the conventional wisdom, and find New ways of Thinking!
Old solutions aren't working! Think about this in a new way! Teen's problems at school with failing - think of a new way of thinking: "At least we know he's not cheating!" Solve the problem!
John Gotman - no eye rollling! Communicate. Listen to each other! Don't roll your eyes!Civility and tolerance is not the answer! We can't just tolerate each other! That solution is wrong! It is too low of a standard for a country! Too low for a family! We have to raise the standard! We have to care for those who disagree for us!
Ask - Lord what do you want me to do? Do something that will make us better!
1. Make a list of people you agree with that are pushing you towards greater hate instead of greater love. Turn those people off. You deserve to be independent. America needs you to be independent.
2. Seek out contempt and confront it and see it as an opportunity in your life.
3. Missionary work is hard! It is hard to face rejection every single day! He has a solution - only go to homes where they are already Mormon's is not good advice! The point of mission work is to see the opportunity, the adventure of going where they are not agreeing with you - confront contempt with love.
Go where you're not invited.
Listen carefully and respond with love. The #1 thing is the love that you show! Be the example with love - that witness is the greatest challenge!Carry a notebook and have no criticism until you have said 5 loving things. - that is how we deal with negative things! Instead of criticizing, find 5 good things. Confront contempt.
4. Get serious with Gratitude! Be grateful! Gratitude is the ultimate expression of love. It warms your heart - Thomas S. Monson said "Sincerely giving thanks not only helps us recognize our blessings, but it also unlocks the doors of heaven and helps us feel God’s love."
President Gordon B. Hinckley said, “When you walk with gratitude, you do not walk with arrogance and conceit and egotism, you walk with a spirit of thanksgiving that is becoming to you and will bless your lives.”Gratitude listers are 25% happier than those who follow How to Win Friends and Influence People! It is a guide to ethical living -
"It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.”
— Alfred Adler, Viennese psychologist
Dale Carnegie considered the above quote to be one of the most significant statements he had ever come across. That’s because—like Alfred Adler—Dale Carnegie knew that any success in life was born of an honest and sincere appreciation for people.
Carnegie told the story of once spending an evening with the famous Broadway magician, Howard Thurston. For forty years Thurston had traveled all over the world, creating illusions, mystifying audiences, and making people gasp with astonishment. More than sixty million people had paid admission to his shows, and Thurston had made almost two million dollars in profit, which was an astounding sum of money at the height of his career in the early 1930’s.
He asked Thurston to tell him the secret of his success and what he learned was elegantly simple. Yes, Thurston was a master showman and knew human nature, but he didn’t necessarily have a superior knowledge of magic. And his success didn’t come from a privileged upbringing as he ran away from home as a small boy, became a hobo, rode in boxcars, slept in haystacks, and begged his food from door to door.
His success, he told Carnegie, was due to his genuine interest in people. He said that every time he entered the stage he said to himself: “I am grateful because these people come to see me. They make it possible for me to make my living in a very agreeable way. I’m going to give them the very best I possibly can.” He further declared he never stepped in front of the footlights without first saying to himself over and over, “I love my audience.”
Unfortunately, this philosophy has become somewhat of a lost art in today’s world. But if we pause for a moment to truly appreciate the people that were instrumental in getting us to where we are, we realize that success truly is born of gratification.