As this first year of studying the Gospel in the Come Follow Me way, I find myself so grateful and moved to study and learn more! I have loved the guidance and direction I have received this year by studying, pondering, praying! I have taken the Prophet's challenges to listen to the guiding, directing influencing promptings of the Spirit to direct my life in many ways and have been blessed and lifted in every way!
I enrolled in Pathways which meant two college classes in my life: Life Skills and Jesus and the Everlasting Gospel. I learned so much. We were challenged to set a goal at the opening of the semester to become more like our Savior. I decided to follow the guidance of the Prophet in the Children and Youth Program to set goals for myself, and I opted to set those again each week for the course of the semester, in the four areas outlined: Social, Spiritual, Intellectual, and Physical. Each week I would ponder, ask and set at least one goal in each area. What a joy to reach for those goals, and see them happen! I loved the progress and change I witnessed. My journey in Pathways has indeed been my own! I found myself one of only three married people in my gathering class. We meet for 2 hours on Thursday nights to learn together, discuss our assignments, and to teach each other under the guidance of a missionary couple assigned to oversee our class. Most of my class are women who have been or are going through a divorce, and find themselves without education, seeking for a way to provide for themselves. There are only a few males in the class, only one of them is married. It has been a class in compassion for me. I did not need the math lessons, they were easy for me for which I had one fellow student say she hated me. Oh well. I am sure my writing is better for practicing every week for the last semester. My instructor said she saw a change in my writing. Ok. I am sure practice helps.
One week I decided that by small and simple things, great things come to pass. We were studying our talents, and developing them. I set a goal to practice the piano at least 4 times that week. The next week I found myself in class, playing the piano to accompany the opening song. That is progress. Indeed through the blessing of small and simple things!
Then in the last few weeks of class, I was called to be the compassionate service leader in my ward. I have spent the last several months observing these fellow students as they struggled financially, emotionally, physically and spiritually to get through, trying to succeed in these classes. For me they were easy A's but that was not the case for many in the class. My lessons have opened my eyes to the suffering, the loneliness of those around me! I was the odd ball. Indeed my own marriage struggled during the semester, but it was not thee same as others. I struggled through the trials of our teens. Sam came home in July, struggled here, we had disagreements about guns, tobacco, trucks, and church. Then in November he left home and moved to Heber to Grandpa Val's heber house. That was a dissaster time! Oh it still is! He is not speaking to me. He thinks he is rescuing my child, but in my opinion he is only making it worse. In Heber there is no one to check in on Sam. No one to encourage him to find a singles ward. No one to knock on his door sunday morning and encourage him to come to church. It is hard. Someone outside my immediate family who learned of the situation recently said that they even thought my parents are harboring him to hurt me. That thought puts me over the top. That night I had to ask Brad for a Priesthood blessing to heal my heart again. Oh how I depend on my Heavenly Father to help me every step of everyday! A few days later I was guided to this beautiful video about Silent Night - I know it was just for me - I was totally guided to find it, and it makes my heart feel peace. https://vimeo.com/379117126?outro=1&ref=fb-share&fbclid=IwAR28U2OxL7JXFoRf3ZpMW3OUv90PHC0cgGmM2_LitZcTt0MInHPWULX5Qjo
I know that we each must walk our own path. As I observe from the outside, inside a classroom of others hurting one of my classmates said to me "Why are you here? You don't have the problems all the rest of us do." I was caught off guard. Oh, yes I do have problems. In fact it was one night in class that we were talking about healing and the growth mindset. If we don't have the growth mindset, if we think we can do it all on our own, then we have no need for a physician - no need for our Savior, then he simply won't try to help us. I know that I need him! I don't want to be broken. Who does? None of us, but it is in the breaking that we learn and grow. In fact, that was one of the gathering nights I team taught with another student. We were studying the Atonement of our Savior, and I was making cookies for a Priesthood meeting I had been asked to provide refreshments for. I was making like 300 cookies - it was a lot! As I pulled the cookies from the oven, I like to bend them - or break them as they come out of the oven. It is almost like art I feel, coloring the final touches of love into each cookie. I try to bend them a couple different directions. That afternoon as I made those cookies, I was touched that if I didn't bend them, they weren't as good. So as much as I don't appreciate all this bending, breaking we have been doing around here lately, I know that we are being shaped into a better cookie! That week for the gathering I was leading, I made cookies and one single cookie I was careful to not break. I hand passed the tray of cookies around to each student. No one picked the unbroken cookie. I held up the cookie, and asked "Why?" Why did not one of you take this cookie? Lonnie answered quickly because it didn't look as good! Someone else said, it was a little burned and I don't like them that way. It was the same sheet of cookies. Just not broken. I may have picked out a couple colored m&m's off the top as well, but in the end, the only difference was not being broken! The Lord wants us to be our Best! He knows that by trying us, we will be more beautiful, more fit for His kingdom! I am so grateful for the opportunities to learn which I have been bent into this semester! Laus Deo.
I enrolled in Pathways which meant two college classes in my life: Life Skills and Jesus and the Everlasting Gospel. I learned so much. We were challenged to set a goal at the opening of the semester to become more like our Savior. I decided to follow the guidance of the Prophet in the Children and Youth Program to set goals for myself, and I opted to set those again each week for the course of the semester, in the four areas outlined: Social, Spiritual, Intellectual, and Physical. Each week I would ponder, ask and set at least one goal in each area. What a joy to reach for those goals, and see them happen! I loved the progress and change I witnessed. My journey in Pathways has indeed been my own! I found myself one of only three married people in my gathering class. We meet for 2 hours on Thursday nights to learn together, discuss our assignments, and to teach each other under the guidance of a missionary couple assigned to oversee our class. Most of my class are women who have been or are going through a divorce, and find themselves without education, seeking for a way to provide for themselves. There are only a few males in the class, only one of them is married. It has been a class in compassion for me. I did not need the math lessons, they were easy for me for which I had one fellow student say she hated me. Oh well. I am sure my writing is better for practicing every week for the last semester. My instructor said she saw a change in my writing. Ok. I am sure practice helps.
One week I decided that by small and simple things, great things come to pass. We were studying our talents, and developing them. I set a goal to practice the piano at least 4 times that week. The next week I found myself in class, playing the piano to accompany the opening song. That is progress. Indeed through the blessing of small and simple things!
Then in the last few weeks of class, I was called to be the compassionate service leader in my ward. I have spent the last several months observing these fellow students as they struggled financially, emotionally, physically and spiritually to get through, trying to succeed in these classes. For me they were easy A's but that was not the case for many in the class. My lessons have opened my eyes to the suffering, the loneliness of those around me! I was the odd ball. Indeed my own marriage struggled during the semester, but it was not thee same as others. I struggled through the trials of our teens. Sam came home in July, struggled here, we had disagreements about guns, tobacco, trucks, and church. Then in November he left home and moved to Heber to Grandpa Val's heber house. That was a dissaster time! Oh it still is! He is not speaking to me. He thinks he is rescuing my child, but in my opinion he is only making it worse. In Heber there is no one to check in on Sam. No one to encourage him to find a singles ward. No one to knock on his door sunday morning and encourage him to come to church. It is hard. Someone outside my immediate family who learned of the situation recently said that they even thought my parents are harboring him to hurt me. That thought puts me over the top. That night I had to ask Brad for a Priesthood blessing to heal my heart again. Oh how I depend on my Heavenly Father to help me every step of everyday! A few days later I was guided to this beautiful video about Silent Night - I know it was just for me - I was totally guided to find it, and it makes my heart feel peace. https://vimeo.com/379117126?outro=1&ref=fb-share&fbclid=IwAR28U2OxL7JXFoRf3ZpMW3OUv90PHC0cgGmM2_LitZcTt0MInHPWULX5Qjo
I know that we each must walk our own path. As I observe from the outside, inside a classroom of others hurting one of my classmates said to me "Why are you here? You don't have the problems all the rest of us do." I was caught off guard. Oh, yes I do have problems. In fact it was one night in class that we were talking about healing and the growth mindset. If we don't have the growth mindset, if we think we can do it all on our own, then we have no need for a physician - no need for our Savior, then he simply won't try to help us. I know that I need him! I don't want to be broken. Who does? None of us, but it is in the breaking that we learn and grow. In fact, that was one of the gathering nights I team taught with another student. We were studying the Atonement of our Savior, and I was making cookies for a Priesthood meeting I had been asked to provide refreshments for. I was making like 300 cookies - it was a lot! As I pulled the cookies from the oven, I like to bend them - or break them as they come out of the oven. It is almost like art I feel, coloring the final touches of love into each cookie. I try to bend them a couple different directions. That afternoon as I made those cookies, I was touched that if I didn't bend them, they weren't as good. So as much as I don't appreciate all this bending, breaking we have been doing around here lately, I know that we are being shaped into a better cookie! That week for the gathering I was leading, I made cookies and one single cookie I was careful to not break. I hand passed the tray of cookies around to each student. No one picked the unbroken cookie. I held up the cookie, and asked "Why?" Why did not one of you take this cookie? Lonnie answered quickly because it didn't look as good! Someone else said, it was a little burned and I don't like them that way. It was the same sheet of cookies. Just not broken. I may have picked out a couple colored m&m's off the top as well, but in the end, the only difference was not being broken! The Lord wants us to be our Best! He knows that by trying us, we will be more beautiful, more fit for His kingdom! I am so grateful for the opportunities to learn which I have been bent into this semester! Laus Deo.