Today we drove home from the wedding of Liesl and Brian. They were married in the Jordan River temple yesterday, January 18th, 2020 by Liesl's mission President McDougal. The ceremony was beautiful. I will forever remember the triangle from my vantage point of Liesl and Brian kneeling, and the chandelier over their head in a triangle with the crystals of light of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ appearing between and above them, sealing and consecrating their wedding.
When President McDougal (I don't know how to spell his name) was saying the words of the ordinance, there was a long pause between the names of the Godhead. He paused before saying the Holy Ghost, and the Spirit whispered, yes this was sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise. It was a touching and sealing moment for me.
Every detail of the wedding fell perfectly into place. We held a reception at the Dance Hall in St. George on Thursday evening 6-8. Then we drove to Salt Lake on Friday, and the sealing was Saturday morning at 10:15. At 1:30 that day we held a dinner for friends and family at Heritage Gardens on Creek Road.
We stayed in Salt Lake until Sunday because this morning was Seth Stapel's farewell for his mission. All of my family but Liesl who had left on her honeymoon went to the farewell.
I wish I could say the Paulsen mess was fixed. It is not. After fasting, prayers, trying again to find answers and kindness, Brad and I along with Liesl and Brian all felt we should only invite them to the reception in St. George. We left the opportunity open to see if they tried to make things right that we could invite them to the Saturday events. There were no strides to make things right, and no indication that if we invited just Val and Kathryn that they would not drag other siblings who have not been kind along. Kathryn in recent years has said that we either take all of them or none of them. So we invited them to the reception, but held the sacred events of the temple for those kind.
The ceremony Saturday was perfect. I have reservations about Brian, I must admit, and those were heavy on my heart. Even a week ago I went to Salt Lake for a bridal shower thrown for her by his family (both sides at once) and came home with serious concerns about his commitment. I shared with Brad, and together we confronted Liesl, asking if she still felt this was absolutely the right thing. She confirmed that this was what she felt was right.
We promised her to be all in, and to support and pull off the details of the wedding as she wished.
We rented a home in Draper area, and it was so nice to have a comfortable home to have all of us gather to. I am so grateful for my dear husband who provides with my Savior so abundantly for us. Thank you Father!
This morning, I was hesitant to go to the farewell as we had not been invited, but learned it was today. We walked in to find that Chandler and Haley had saved a row for our family, but Val and Kathryn were sitting right in front of us. I was just before Brad at the very back of the pack as we walked in and we were short one chair. At first I just said, we will just sit back here, but then I realized that Kathryn was right there. I decided I was not going to sit all alone while my beautiful family surrounded her. I went back up to that row, and held Stephen on my lap so I was with my family! Immediately the music of the opening song started playing, and the song was just for me. How Firm a Foundation. That song has been my song since I learned I was pregnant with Chandler. I Someone told me that I had to quit nursing Liesl or my baby in utero would not have sufficient nutrients to grow properly. I quit nursing for a bit, but then one day was touched by the words of the second verse which are:
In ev’ry condition—in sickness, in health,
In poverty’s vale or abounding in wealth,
At home or abroad, on the land or the sea—
As thy days may demand, as thy days may demand,
As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be.
and then the 7th verse:
The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose
I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, I’ll never, no never,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake!
We didn't sing the 7th verse today, but the second verse certainly spoke to me! I have been in poverty's vale, but now I find myself abounding in wealth, and my Father will still succor me! I know he will! The tender mercies of the Lord have been so abundant this week! I wish that I could share in words how touching and tender the miracles have been. Just today, to have that song as the opening song, at exactly the moment I was feeling down and sad, kicked out. I find myself often lately hearing her say to me "I wish you were dead." or "Life would be easier without you." or "I am going to pretend you are gone to Sweden and not here." Oh, these and other words are so mean, and repeat in my mind. A few weeks ago I sent a message wanting, searching for a repair to our relationship prior to the wedding so we could move into the wedding with kindness. I was met back with a photo of Liesl that she is winning them too. Brian's family has a cabin up in Brighton estates, and they had been up there and Paulsen's saw them and invited them to stop by. So Brian pushed and they did. Kathryn has forbidden my siblings from speaking to me. Katie is not allowed to call. Anyway, so the photos, I asked what she was trying to say by them because it didn't feel nice. She didn't ever respond. I texted that I was deleting the whole thread as it felt like bulling and hurtful.
She showed up on my doorstep on Thursday morning with some grocery store roses, and said she loved me. It felt like she was begging for an invite to the wedding. I did not give it. She is so mean, and then wants to act like everything is good. It is not!
Anyway, I want to remember the tender mercy that my loving Heavenly Father sent exactly that song of a common motherly gift to succor the needs of a child at exactly the time that I felt alone, abandonded and left for dead. My Loving Heavenly Parents know and see the needs of my heart and sent that song to comfort me!
Then at the end of the meeting, my two little granddaughters spent the meeting playing on the carpet in front of us. During the closing prayer, I was concerned about how I was going to get out of there without a scene. At just that minute of concern, dear sweet Hannah decided to cry, and need some attention. I was closest, just a couple poeple to climb over to get out. I reached out and she plunged forward to my arms and I got to take her out. It was perfect. I could not have asked or planned a better moment. I know that was specifically for me!
One more set of miracles like these I want to record.... Friday morning after all the details of the St. George reception were done, I wanted to sew a new pair of slippers for Liesl. She has had a pair of slippers made by my Farmor, but she was a temple worker in the Rexburg temple for a time, and they had her pick up and deliver records especially from the baptistry to the records office on the main floor. She wore holes in the soles of the slippers made by Farmor. I wanted to make her a new pair. That morning, I got up early, and finished other jobs, sending my beautiful Haley and Cassidy and Annie and Hannah ahead of us to Salt Lake so Haley could teach her piano lessons that afternoon. After getting them on the road, I refrained from doing the dishes because I SO wanted to make slippers and was quickly running out of time. I came to the closet where I believed the pattern and white fabric from Farmor was. I dug through several bins, and found the fabric but no pattern. At that point I paused, and prayed, asking for help and guidance. I was prompted to go downstairs to other bins of craft things. I went downstairs, and searched but didn't find the pattern. Pausing again to pray, I reached my hand into a bin, and there immediatly in my fingers was the manilla folder I have cherished with two pairs of slippers made by Farmor and some fabric patterns she cut out so I could make slippers at home. I felt her help through the veil helping me. Then I had a prompting. I was told that She had already made the slippers Liesl could be married in - if I would trade Liesl for the slippers I had very recently washed and prepared in my own temple bag. My problem and delima was solved through the help received through the veil! What a miracle! I know I was being guided by angels! Liesl wore those slippers I have worn for 9 years every week as I have attended the temple. Somehow the bottoms of those beautiful slippers have been preserved and I had listened to the prompting to have them washed and ready not for what I thought, but for Liesl to be married in! How perfect! Oh there have been SO many tender mercies like this!
Ok, one more.... I have not been thrilled about them being married in the Jordan River Temple. I just felt there are so many really beautiful ones, why that one? I was told by Liesl that Brian's family roots in the temple go way back, and so I said ok and supported! As we were leaving St. George to go North on Friday, I debated on taking my whole temple bag or just my recommend. There would be plenty to carry, did I need my own bag? It was not a white ceremony, I didn't really need my bag for anything I could think of. I listened to the prompting, and took it with me. The details in Salt Lake worked, we were able to stretch time, and we made it to Deseret Book before other committments with others to move Liesl out of her apartment that night so the new roommate could move in, etc. Oh there was much to do, but I felt we should get her new ordinance clothes for the sealing. We made it there and I was guided to a beautiful embroidered white hanky that said Jordan River Temple. In the morning, we were to meet at the place of the luncheon early to decorate, and then get to the temple by 8:15 to be her escort. All the details fit in. I was a few minutes after Liesl and Brian leaving to get to the temple from the rented home, and thought I would find them inside. I had my recommend and checked in, then tucked it into the depths of my bag. Then they weren't there yet. I went out, but then couldn't find my recommend. I had to stop and completely open my bag to find it. I found them, helped carry their bags and wedding dress in, all the details. Then we couldn't find Roger, Brian's dad. Not allowed to make a call from inside the temple, I went out front to call and try to find him. He did not answer. He did not respond to text. I called Sharon. She said "he left hours ago." Ok but where? I went back in and they had found him, up in a sealing room waiting. ok. I went back out yet again to call Sharon and let her know so she wasn't worried. I ended up going through the recommend desk four times! Tender mercies were abundant! Then in the bride's room, I was grateful to pause and ask all to pray with us before I put ceremonial clothes on Liesl. It was a special moment, and I wept. As we were about to go out, I had taken a dryer sheet from my bag for Liesl to solve a static problem, and I had the slippers with holes from Farmor because I had taken my bag so I got to wear those. Then I felt I should get some kleenix, but was prompted to take something from my bag - it was hankerchiefs we made for the first dedication of the Jordan River temple. I was touched that my Heavenly Father was so mindful of details like that! Indeed, this last week has been full of miracles great and small coordinated just for us! I am so grateful!!
It is now very late, and I am grateful to record these miracles. I want to remember the miracles, the tender details my Heavenly Father orchestrated just for me! I know there are many! Thank you Heavenly Parents! I am so grateful!
xoxoxoxoxo
When President McDougal (I don't know how to spell his name) was saying the words of the ordinance, there was a long pause between the names of the Godhead. He paused before saying the Holy Ghost, and the Spirit whispered, yes this was sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise. It was a touching and sealing moment for me.
Every detail of the wedding fell perfectly into place. We held a reception at the Dance Hall in St. George on Thursday evening 6-8. Then we drove to Salt Lake on Friday, and the sealing was Saturday morning at 10:15. At 1:30 that day we held a dinner for friends and family at Heritage Gardens on Creek Road.
We stayed in Salt Lake until Sunday because this morning was Seth Stapel's farewell for his mission. All of my family but Liesl who had left on her honeymoon went to the farewell.
I wish I could say the Paulsen mess was fixed. It is not. After fasting, prayers, trying again to find answers and kindness, Brad and I along with Liesl and Brian all felt we should only invite them to the reception in St. George. We left the opportunity open to see if they tried to make things right that we could invite them to the Saturday events. There were no strides to make things right, and no indication that if we invited just Val and Kathryn that they would not drag other siblings who have not been kind along. Kathryn in recent years has said that we either take all of them or none of them. So we invited them to the reception, but held the sacred events of the temple for those kind.
The ceremony Saturday was perfect. I have reservations about Brian, I must admit, and those were heavy on my heart. Even a week ago I went to Salt Lake for a bridal shower thrown for her by his family (both sides at once) and came home with serious concerns about his commitment. I shared with Brad, and together we confronted Liesl, asking if she still felt this was absolutely the right thing. She confirmed that this was what she felt was right.
We promised her to be all in, and to support and pull off the details of the wedding as she wished.
We rented a home in Draper area, and it was so nice to have a comfortable home to have all of us gather to. I am so grateful for my dear husband who provides with my Savior so abundantly for us. Thank you Father!
This morning, I was hesitant to go to the farewell as we had not been invited, but learned it was today. We walked in to find that Chandler and Haley had saved a row for our family, but Val and Kathryn were sitting right in front of us. I was just before Brad at the very back of the pack as we walked in and we were short one chair. At first I just said, we will just sit back here, but then I realized that Kathryn was right there. I decided I was not going to sit all alone while my beautiful family surrounded her. I went back up to that row, and held Stephen on my lap so I was with my family! Immediately the music of the opening song started playing, and the song was just for me. How Firm a Foundation. That song has been my song since I learned I was pregnant with Chandler. I Someone told me that I had to quit nursing Liesl or my baby in utero would not have sufficient nutrients to grow properly. I quit nursing for a bit, but then one day was touched by the words of the second verse which are:
In ev’ry condition—in sickness, in health,
In poverty’s vale or abounding in wealth,
At home or abroad, on the land or the sea—
As thy days may demand, as thy days may demand,
As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be.
and then the 7th verse:
The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose
I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, I’ll never, no never,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake!
We didn't sing the 7th verse today, but the second verse certainly spoke to me! I have been in poverty's vale, but now I find myself abounding in wealth, and my Father will still succor me! I know he will! The tender mercies of the Lord have been so abundant this week! I wish that I could share in words how touching and tender the miracles have been. Just today, to have that song as the opening song, at exactly the moment I was feeling down and sad, kicked out. I find myself often lately hearing her say to me "I wish you were dead." or "Life would be easier without you." or "I am going to pretend you are gone to Sweden and not here." Oh, these and other words are so mean, and repeat in my mind. A few weeks ago I sent a message wanting, searching for a repair to our relationship prior to the wedding so we could move into the wedding with kindness. I was met back with a photo of Liesl that she is winning them too. Brian's family has a cabin up in Brighton estates, and they had been up there and Paulsen's saw them and invited them to stop by. So Brian pushed and they did. Kathryn has forbidden my siblings from speaking to me. Katie is not allowed to call. Anyway, so the photos, I asked what she was trying to say by them because it didn't feel nice. She didn't ever respond. I texted that I was deleting the whole thread as it felt like bulling and hurtful.
She showed up on my doorstep on Thursday morning with some grocery store roses, and said she loved me. It felt like she was begging for an invite to the wedding. I did not give it. She is so mean, and then wants to act like everything is good. It is not!
Anyway, I want to remember the tender mercy that my loving Heavenly Father sent exactly that song of a common motherly gift to succor the needs of a child at exactly the time that I felt alone, abandonded and left for dead. My Loving Heavenly Parents know and see the needs of my heart and sent that song to comfort me!
Then at the end of the meeting, my two little granddaughters spent the meeting playing on the carpet in front of us. During the closing prayer, I was concerned about how I was going to get out of there without a scene. At just that minute of concern, dear sweet Hannah decided to cry, and need some attention. I was closest, just a couple poeple to climb over to get out. I reached out and she plunged forward to my arms and I got to take her out. It was perfect. I could not have asked or planned a better moment. I know that was specifically for me!
One more set of miracles like these I want to record.... Friday morning after all the details of the St. George reception were done, I wanted to sew a new pair of slippers for Liesl. She has had a pair of slippers made by my Farmor, but she was a temple worker in the Rexburg temple for a time, and they had her pick up and deliver records especially from the baptistry to the records office on the main floor. She wore holes in the soles of the slippers made by Farmor. I wanted to make her a new pair. That morning, I got up early, and finished other jobs, sending my beautiful Haley and Cassidy and Annie and Hannah ahead of us to Salt Lake so Haley could teach her piano lessons that afternoon. After getting them on the road, I refrained from doing the dishes because I SO wanted to make slippers and was quickly running out of time. I came to the closet where I believed the pattern and white fabric from Farmor was. I dug through several bins, and found the fabric but no pattern. At that point I paused, and prayed, asking for help and guidance. I was prompted to go downstairs to other bins of craft things. I went downstairs, and searched but didn't find the pattern. Pausing again to pray, I reached my hand into a bin, and there immediatly in my fingers was the manilla folder I have cherished with two pairs of slippers made by Farmor and some fabric patterns she cut out so I could make slippers at home. I felt her help through the veil helping me. Then I had a prompting. I was told that She had already made the slippers Liesl could be married in - if I would trade Liesl for the slippers I had very recently washed and prepared in my own temple bag. My problem and delima was solved through the help received through the veil! What a miracle! I know I was being guided by angels! Liesl wore those slippers I have worn for 9 years every week as I have attended the temple. Somehow the bottoms of those beautiful slippers have been preserved and I had listened to the prompting to have them washed and ready not for what I thought, but for Liesl to be married in! How perfect! Oh there have been SO many tender mercies like this!
Ok, one more.... I have not been thrilled about them being married in the Jordan River Temple. I just felt there are so many really beautiful ones, why that one? I was told by Liesl that Brian's family roots in the temple go way back, and so I said ok and supported! As we were leaving St. George to go North on Friday, I debated on taking my whole temple bag or just my recommend. There would be plenty to carry, did I need my own bag? It was not a white ceremony, I didn't really need my bag for anything I could think of. I listened to the prompting, and took it with me. The details in Salt Lake worked, we were able to stretch time, and we made it to Deseret Book before other committments with others to move Liesl out of her apartment that night so the new roommate could move in, etc. Oh there was much to do, but I felt we should get her new ordinance clothes for the sealing. We made it there and I was guided to a beautiful embroidered white hanky that said Jordan River Temple. In the morning, we were to meet at the place of the luncheon early to decorate, and then get to the temple by 8:15 to be her escort. All the details fit in. I was a few minutes after Liesl and Brian leaving to get to the temple from the rented home, and thought I would find them inside. I had my recommend and checked in, then tucked it into the depths of my bag. Then they weren't there yet. I went out, but then couldn't find my recommend. I had to stop and completely open my bag to find it. I found them, helped carry their bags and wedding dress in, all the details. Then we couldn't find Roger, Brian's dad. Not allowed to make a call from inside the temple, I went out front to call and try to find him. He did not answer. He did not respond to text. I called Sharon. She said "he left hours ago." Ok but where? I went back in and they had found him, up in a sealing room waiting. ok. I went back out yet again to call Sharon and let her know so she wasn't worried. I ended up going through the recommend desk four times! Tender mercies were abundant! Then in the bride's room, I was grateful to pause and ask all to pray with us before I put ceremonial clothes on Liesl. It was a special moment, and I wept. As we were about to go out, I had taken a dryer sheet from my bag for Liesl to solve a static problem, and I had the slippers with holes from Farmor because I had taken my bag so I got to wear those. Then I felt I should get some kleenix, but was prompted to take something from my bag - it was hankerchiefs we made for the first dedication of the Jordan River temple. I was touched that my Heavenly Father was so mindful of details like that! Indeed, this last week has been full of miracles great and small coordinated just for us! I am so grateful!!
It is now very late, and I am grateful to record these miracles. I want to remember the miracles, the tender details my Heavenly Father orchestrated just for me! I know there are many! Thank you Heavenly Parents! I am so grateful!
xoxoxoxoxo