The questions this post is to answer are:
I find the slight differences between the words "authoritative" and "authoritarian" not drastic enough for the differences in these styles of parenting. I know that there are many similarities between these two parenting styles, but there are also many vast differences! A quick google search shows the definition of Authoritative means: "commanding and self-confident; likely to be respected and obeyed." While authoritarian means: "favoring or enforcing strict obedience to authority, especially that of the government, at the expense of personal freedom."
I believe that it is important to have a plan, to be confident in what we expect and hope for, but to also be open to change as change is required. In the midst of this CoVid adventure, we have certainly seen the rollercoaster of change, and how we need to adapt and change to the ever-changing conditions of the world. As a parent, I have three teens right now. What I say at one point in time, seems to quickly change to something different shortly thereafter. I was reading something about Latter-day Saint mission calls recently. They said that calls placed in the morning had to change by afternoon. That seems the way many things in life are right now. Changing and evolving.
I am grateful that some things don't change. Standards of morality don't change. Chastity, honesty, kindness, don't change. The Gospel adapts, but it remains that our Savior Jesus Christ is solid. He knows the challenges we are dealing with. He will help us through. We may have to eat frog because what we said changed from this morning. I am ok with that as a parent. My kids know that I will stand by the standards outlined in For the Strength of Youth. What happens when one of them doesn't agree? How do I show love without approving that choice? How do they still get the same as the others who have chosen right. I can only trust that my Savior will make it all right in the end!
My home of origin was a very Authoritarian home. My mom believed her way was the right way, and if someone doesn't like it - well a brother-in-law was kicked out when we all met for dinner because he didn't agree with her. This doesn't build relationships. Today my mother claims she would rather have me dead. I have been given the silent treatment for some 9 years because I told her she couldn't yell at my kids or my sister's kids that way! She didn't like that. It happened once. It happened again. Something similar happened where I told her that I thought she was doing something totally inappropriate with someone of the opposite sex. She let me know she didn't appreciate being told that. She not only refuses to talk to me, but she has forbidden all my siblings (6 families) from speaking to me. If they do, they can't stay in her condo, or have her financial help, etc. All the others are "owned" by her (her words in one of the above conversations). It is not a healthy situation!
- Share a specific example of how parenting authoritatively benefits the child/parent relationship. Share a specific example of how permissive or authoritarian parenting is destructive to the child/parent relationship.
- Consider your own upbringing. What would you do that is the same as your parents? What would you do that is different than how you were raised?
I find the slight differences between the words "authoritative" and "authoritarian" not drastic enough for the differences in these styles of parenting. I know that there are many similarities between these two parenting styles, but there are also many vast differences! A quick google search shows the definition of Authoritative means: "commanding and self-confident; likely to be respected and obeyed." While authoritarian means: "favoring or enforcing strict obedience to authority, especially that of the government, at the expense of personal freedom."
I believe that it is important to have a plan, to be confident in what we expect and hope for, but to also be open to change as change is required. In the midst of this CoVid adventure, we have certainly seen the rollercoaster of change, and how we need to adapt and change to the ever-changing conditions of the world. As a parent, I have three teens right now. What I say at one point in time, seems to quickly change to something different shortly thereafter. I was reading something about Latter-day Saint mission calls recently. They said that calls placed in the morning had to change by afternoon. That seems the way many things in life are right now. Changing and evolving.
I am grateful that some things don't change. Standards of morality don't change. Chastity, honesty, kindness, don't change. The Gospel adapts, but it remains that our Savior Jesus Christ is solid. He knows the challenges we are dealing with. He will help us through. We may have to eat frog because what we said changed from this morning. I am ok with that as a parent. My kids know that I will stand by the standards outlined in For the Strength of Youth. What happens when one of them doesn't agree? How do I show love without approving that choice? How do they still get the same as the others who have chosen right. I can only trust that my Savior will make it all right in the end!
My home of origin was a very Authoritarian home. My mom believed her way was the right way, and if someone doesn't like it - well a brother-in-law was kicked out when we all met for dinner because he didn't agree with her. This doesn't build relationships. Today my mother claims she would rather have me dead. I have been given the silent treatment for some 9 years because I told her she couldn't yell at my kids or my sister's kids that way! She didn't like that. It happened once. It happened again. Something similar happened where I told her that I thought she was doing something totally inappropriate with someone of the opposite sex. She let me know she didn't appreciate being told that. She not only refuses to talk to me, but she has forbidden all my siblings (6 families) from speaking to me. If they do, they can't stay in her condo, or have her financial help, etc. All the others are "owned" by her (her words in one of the above conversations). It is not a healthy situation!