This is a question I have asked for years as the result of a definition of love which I reject. In my childhood home it was misdefined and so the book of this quote sits beside my bedside. Somedays it is too painful to read. Somedays I open it with hope of learning what love should be since I didn't learn it growing up. I hope and pray that I have and am learning with my own family what love should be.
This quote is from our learning module this week:
Love is...."the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.” (M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Travelled, 1978, p. 81)
Today is Memorial day. I am posting this post a couple of days late because we drove 10 hours to Boise Idaho to help our married son who is in law school put a new roof on his house on Friday and Saturday. Thursday and Friday my other children started gathering in a home we rented there for the weekend. Friday mid morning we converged on his cute little 3 bed 2 bath home, and began the demolition to take the old roof off so we could install a new one! I saw love in action! Love is coming when your brother calls to help him work even when it might be inconvenient, cold, raining, and a long holiday weekend! But coming anyway, spending your own hard earned dollars on gas money and tools to come help. Love is staying up until 2 in the morning, laughing, talking, even learning as we played Cashflow, an financial educational game together as a family. Love is listening and seeking to understand. Love is getting up early to go on a run with my daughters before the sun gets up and their little 18 month old girls. Love is taking Grandpa and Grandma along even though it is super inconveinent and a damper on our style because they can't move. Love is trying to see past the weird things, and be kind anyway.
In my mind, I have defined love after reading and studying many books, and borrowing from many, I choose to define love as "caring deeply about the whole person, temporally, spiritually, physically, emotionally and mentally and being willing to nurture that person if there there is a need I can help with."
This week in my Family Relations class, I have been reading about dating, marriage possibilities, and what is important to look for in relationships. I think these ingredients in a relationship are fundamental! I reject the notion that marriage and relationships are for the purpose of intimacy. That just isn't even in my language. I have the blessing of sharing intimacy with the one I love because we have made covenants together before God to cleave only to each other. I care about him in all five of those facets of life, and he cares about me in all five of those facets! Together we build, struggle, climb, and reach to become something more than we were yesterday! Thirty years into marriage, I love him more everyday and yet not as much as I know I will tomorrow! I believe we should constantly be climbing, reaching, striving. I am so grateful to share my everyday with handsome Elder Bradley! I love him so much!
Goals for this week, first cherish and communicate my love to my dear family. I am so grateful for the priceless time we shared this weekend! Second, we have had so many others with us these last five days, I need to focus time and attention on Bradley a bit. We have felt pressured especially because his parents both jumped at the opportunity to get out of the house. That meant we had to drive two separate cars, and our schedule was often juggled around catering to their needs. Oh, I am so grateful to be able to move. I am grateful to run and walk and jump and play! I don't want to ever lose the ability to move!!!!! I will spend extra time this coming week chatting with, checking in with, and caring for Bradley! I love him forever!