I keep having these feelings that I am supposed to do something different. I felt it in July when we were hiking the Tetons. I had just interviewed a neighbor entrepreneur for a class of mine. I found myself thinking, pondering, and sharing with my family that I felt we needed to share more.
This morning, I was just reading news - the front page of the Desert News had a post about social influencers. I don't want to be that, but who am I?
Years ago, I wrote on only this blog, public and open for people to see. Then lightning struck my heart. I was dealing with struggles in the family I was born into, and I retreated. I disappeared. I took this blog off the web, it has existed, but privately for years until followers disappeared and I could hide in the corner.
I quite sharing on Facebook. I try not to go there at all, but when I need to for online primary singing, or invited by someone to see something, I have an account. I share only things other people post. I haven't posted my own post for years. I will comment on others. but not share. Why?
My heart keeps asking this question.
Last week President Nelson invited us to share on media, to "flood social media" I think were his words with gratitude. I have so much to be grateful for! I did visit Facebook one night, and my heart hurt after. Years ago he invited us to do a social media fast, and see how we felt after 10 days. I did and decided to not go there. Where is the right balance? Share or don't share.
I don't know. I haven't been on Instagram. Heartaches with a daughter have kept me from going there. Is that right?
Part of me keeps feeling this pull to come out of the corner, and share. Is it right to retreat into the corner? I recognize that I went there because of the actions of others. I need to be me. I get to be a person with feelings and a voice. There is so much light and goodness. I have so much to be grateful for! I want to shout my gratitude to God for all he has given me! I say it quietly Laus Deo. My heart feels like I need to do more.
Musing here. I don't know what the future holds, but I am ok with change. It is good to change, learn, grow, and become something better. I hope I am every day! I hope I become a new person, full of compassion, charity, love but also brave enough to have a voice! Trying to stretch out and trust a new ledge.